That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My hand turned me down
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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