And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
