Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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