Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
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Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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