Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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