Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
