Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
