One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
