The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
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my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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