I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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