Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
