Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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