My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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