dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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