I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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