My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
