Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
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I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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