I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so explain again why im purple
no
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
