im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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