It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???