Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.