Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...