That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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