where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
