I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
