Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize