Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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