Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home