I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.