love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him