try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
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Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.