get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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