My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The adults are the big ones right?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize