Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dating After Heartbreak
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.