No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
YAS. BRING CRAB.