Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.