Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
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You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing