That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
