i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
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She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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