do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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