Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize