I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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