awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
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I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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