go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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