Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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