It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
