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Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
