remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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