so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
do nipples grow back?
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