Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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