talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
