I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize