Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we made out on top of his cat.
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The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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