Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
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we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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