lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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