Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
