Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
