She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
